Saturday, September 30, 2006
wats de diff btwn blogger n beta blogger? i dun get their intentions..watever..
anws..da lame tak update..malas..seriously..n busy.hmm..
wer do i start..? k..lets tok abt epl soccer first..ders is serious signs dat chelsea r gona b de champs agn dis yr..man u so sucky..inconsistent like wat..den liverpool..oso somewat similar..wth..n arsenal..dey seem to b playing for their own..in their own drream theater..haix..
k nw i gt smeting to sae..i've been pretty reminded of death dis few daes..de kubor smell..de freshly dug grave..de sabon untok mandikan mayat..hmm.. n jus nw i fell aslp for a split second while walking..naseb pinggan tak pecah..dono wats wrong..so hu's gona go soon?
anws i dun relli hav de mmod to sae aniting much..so lets jus leave it here..as it is..
kidnapped--at 22:36
Saturday, September 23, 2006
im having leaky eye sockets..
i still rmmbr hw wen i first told u hw i feel..u gave me a kinda warning..wen we started talking bout our ideal partners..u alredi told me hw u want 'him' to be..i straight awae noe dat its gona b VERY hard..
bt i decided to take de 'challenge'..cos i believed dat u cud change me..change de wae i am..well..i started changing abit b4 i decided to get to noe u..
bt anw..i realise its gona b absolutely hard..its very easy foru to sae wat u want..co u r alredi like dat..u gt de upbringing..de conditioning..i dono..dats jus hw u r..nt me.im nt like dat..
so nw im jus upset cos de burden is on me.its up to me for us to stae 2geder..make ur dreams cum true..ur dream family life..a a good wive..a good mum..n all dose stuff..bt de fact is..i find it hard to c myself in dat dream.
im upset cos u jus cant accept it..honestly ive been giving u hints dat i mite not b able to giv u wat u want..u don't notice it do u?n i relli tot u had..
i dun blame u for expecting sooo much frm me..for wanting me to b dis n dat..i noe to u its not much..bt to me it is ok?n ya..evryone wants wats best for dem..ppl wan de good stuff..bt ppl usually don't end up wif evriting dat dey want.
i dont want to spoil dis relationship..i will try to giv u wat u want..bt i mite nt succeed in doing all..bt if u stubbornly want me to be all dat u want me to be..den u can go ahead n build ur utopia or watever it is widout me..
bt at wat cost?? letsjus tink abt dis..we gt lots of time to decide.. kidnapped--at 01:53
Monday, September 11, 2006
todae was de start of my prelims..n honestly speaking..i haven studied..maebe abit of reading up..bt dat was it..fridae n saturdae after tcrs' dae..went ruma 1)nenek 2)wak.. sundae til wednesdae..painted house..nt de whole house ah..jus my my rm, den my parents', den living rm..followed by ceilings.. thursdae went out.. fridae n sat painted my door.. smlm..went out..tried to study..tried..
well so todae gp paper was bad..cos i was so damn thirsty..dono y..bt my throat was feeling kinda dry..so cudnt relli concentrate..didnt get to finish my aq..dat sucked..essae..well..i tot mine was de oni one wif single sheet of paper..gues it was..its a habit.. anws chem was too bad i tink..bt de ting is i didnt study..so i shal sae dat i tink i did pretty badly..wadya expect? gt stuck at de organic question..wasted too much time on it..so didnt get to do de last question..wasted..
btw i shud be aslp nw..wana wake up ltr to study abit..
bt b4 dat.. yang..im relli sori..can u jus hang in der..a few more yrs..dats all it takes..i mean..minimum it takes.. i need u..n i noe u need me too..i want u to be der..by my side..for a long time..if not for ever..n yang..after de tings we've gone thru..i noe dat u're a strong gerl..so pls..i nak u jage diri..i cant be by ur side alwaes..bt i'll alwaes love u..promise. kidnapped--at 21:18
Sunday, August 27, 2006
ohh mann..been like 2 wks since i last updated..n i dun relli noe y..maebe da malas..maebe gt nothing intresting to sae..or maebe gt intresting tings dats happened bt i wont sae..heh..
tho i admit..dis yr..watever's happened to me..i haven relli foreseen..some r jus so unexpeccted..i dun believe its happening..eg..ehem2..excuse me..
besides dat..studies..smeting i nvr experienced b4..some very new lows..im jus surprised..been taking tings for granted..i had always been somewer up der since k1..even tho in primary skool noti2..studies tetap maintain..well gues it was easy back den..n oso i had motivations..to beat some of my frens back den..smetimes it was me hu challenged dem..sometimes de othr wae ard..bt usually i end up beating dem..n i still rmmbr wen i was in p5 or 6..i gt a crush on dis gerl..mind u she was 15..3 yrs older..she was relli someone hard to beat..haix..i dono hw to describe ah..bt ive often been up der dat its hard to forget abt de down here..understandable?
watever..oh ya..i had dis tcr..she was hot.period.die pakai tudong.she was in her early 30's or late 20's i guess..my p3 form tcr..gues dats hw we ended up..bt anws..she told me dis wen i gt first-in-class in p3..'i noe dat u're parents are nt well off..ur mum talked to me b4..n she said dat its very hard raising u n ur sisters wif little finances..i noe ur dad dun earn much as a taxi driver..bt i wana tell u dis..dey'll b real proud of u..u top de class!!'
well she had me in tears wen she told me dat..mind u i was still a kid..bt even as im typing dis im crying..u c..she reminded me dat my parents jus wan me to work hard..be successful..n make sure dat their sacrifice isnt wasted..isnt for nought..n all dis while..ive smehw managed to bring out de goods..bt dis tyme..its much3 harder..its feeling much like contraband..ps its a pun..
anws..ya..im jus scared..bt no matter wat..i shall try nt to disappoint my parents..dey mite jus leave anytime soon..=/
i'd like to record my tanx for my parents..tho dey nvr were n nvr will b perfect..i still do appreciate dem for some of de tings dey've done for me..tanx..
<----------->
regarding some tings ive done dis past few mnths..i relli dono wat to sae..i gt mixed feelings bout it all..fear..regret..keinsafan..n yet de insatiable hunger for more..de opportunistic lust..
wats life? kidnapped--at 02:41
Monday, August 14, 2006
well..been sme tyme since i last updated..ade lah pasal eh? so anws lots been gg on..live is..well..nt simple..neither is it soo tuff dat u shud giv up..tings like studies..very impt no doubt..bt its nt all der is..u reading dis?meant for u..u're strong..many ppl ard u to support u..back u up..dun giv up k?haix..i jus dono wat else to sae..pasal im nt a natural motivator..bt u noe hu u r to me..so if u're nt feeling well..nt doing well..den im obliged to try n bring de best out of u agn..=)
smetimes u jus hav to relax..sort tings out..set ur mind straight on de target..wat u wana get..den try n go for it..tapi go for it pon..jgn sampai mati-matian ah..follow ur limits..dun push it..nt gud for u..u noe?
bt i shal nt b a hippo..so i shal sae dat i find it hard to cope wif maths..=/
hmmm...kla..i shal cont wif neopets..gud nyte n swt drms.. kidnapped--at 23:51
Saturday, July 29, 2006
fristly apology to my f-ing sis for telling her to get de fuck out of my rm cos i relli feel dat i want to use de comp..2nd to all dose hu feel dat ive been grumpy to dem..wat goes ard cums ard..y de hell isnt anyone being sensitive to wat i feel?!its like noone is being sensitive to me..wtf?! does nobody noe dat im human?wif feelings?for gods sake..nw i tink de oni wae i can feel good is wen i plae soccer n lobang ppl..i luv playing soccer..it jus makes me hapee dat others r feeling miserable..cos noone givs a dam im feeling lousy..noone bothers to ask..noone bothers to b patient.wat?m i a robot?no heart no brain no nyd to eat n rest???
wat shit man..next up..we haven been studying 2geder for awhile..we haven been toking much..gues cos i cant relli tok to u much on de fone..n wen we 2geder..u owaes sae ure sleepy den u go to slp awhile..either dat or u complain of headache/stomachache..even tho i tell u to take care of urself u owaes end up saying de same tings..n wen im gg hme..i end up being alone..u rarely msg me wen im on de wae hme..so i make it a habit to slp in de bus on de wae back..try look fierce in de queue..watever..jus so ppl wont look at me n tink im a loser..well nt dat im nt..i m a loser..
n yesterdae..in skool i was kinda hapee2 cos i cudnt wait to plae soccer after pray..im burning fats ppl!!bt den i realised dat i still gt to send u hme..told u i was meeting u de dae b4..bt i oso rmmbr dat de past few fridaes i had to spend time by myself to waet for u..at least abt an hour plus2..n i didnt relli complain wen i met u..den yest u spoiled my mood..u kept complaining n sounding so grumpy on de fone..n in de bus..i seriously felt like i shud hav jus left my fone n nt check it..n den bile da smpai ruma i was very much hungry bt sebu cos i drank 1liter milk b4 gt hme..den ate ard 3-4 slices pizza..i was kinda full..bt i told myself dat i wud eat chicken rice wen i get back..i owaes eat my mums chicken rice de dae she cooks it..even if it means having to eat tenga mlm..bt ended up fried extra one piece chicken..so i ate very slowly..frm 11 to 12..den dis idiot gerl came back sae she lost wallet..wan me follow cycle to npc..i was like fuck u..i jus gt hme..den ard 12 i was stil eating..de idiot gerl sound.n i was oredi like feeling stuff to de max n sti gt smemore rice..de idiot gerl ask wat tyme want to go..i sae after i eat n rest..den my mum totlessly said dat kau cepat2 mkn pastu kayoh basikal..i immediately exploded..was she crazy??i dono..guess she didnt tink..which idiot wud eat till he's freaking full den straight awae go cycle bicycle like a few hundred metres?!?
y dun idiots tink b4 dey sae aniting to spark smeone off??if u didnt force me u wer pressuring me to go wif u..its de same.
damit ah..im gona slp soon.bt b4 dat,neopets here i cum!!
btw r we compatible??we gt sme tyme to find out.. kidnapped--at 23:59
Saturday, July 22, 2006
wo0o0o0owww..beeen like 3 wks since i last wrote in!!koool...anws..lots been gg on dis 3 wks..n i mean real lots..seriously..k first.i past my rtt..small ting..jus took like less den 10 mins of my time..so nw i jus hafta focus pract man..mondae wednesdae fridae..my new routine..i figured dis mite actuali be helpful..u noe..tings wud jus turn out de wae dey shud..we'll work it thru..lagik pon da nak kene start blaja seh..seriously..prelims in like 5 wks ++..n my dad wanted to bring whole family smewer..hope tak jadi..postpone to smetime else..i cud jus skip..haix.entalah..
study wise..freaking nt der yet..i noe i can do it..bt den maths is like killing me..wat wif all dose hypo testing..stats is so0o troublesme..i hate it..at least chem n physics..better abit..k i admit its bcos ive nt been gg for maths tutorials regularly..abes cam takde smangat nak buat tutorials in class..rather den sit in n get screwed by fo0ong..i prefer being smewer else..de fishball is weird..he's like becoming a nicer person towards prelims..i get a feeling we're gona get grilled for prelim's..yup..chem..hmm..der's alwaes de brighter side..=)
anws jus found out ro gt his license like last wk..so ko0l..n im still jus starting pract 2 on mondae..gota pas dis one..den aiming for twice for pract 3 n 4..den go revision..den pract 6 n 7..wooo mannnn..i jus cant wait..seriously man..bt de bike..is de prob..yep yep..bike drop frm sky??pray hard..
i wana go offf..kinda sleepy..kol brape ni?? kidnapped--at 02:06